Life | Zindagi

9 Reasons to Run Away From That Big Fat Desi Wedding and Elope

Weddings in our part of the world are exhausting and torturous in our lives. But, the less said, the better. The whole process of planning a wedding often brings out the worst in people. So why bother?

Weddings in our part of the world are exhausting and torturous in our lives. But, the less said, the better. The whole process of planning a wedding often brings out the worst in people. From getting approvals about the nitty gritties to begging your blood relatives to agree on a date for the functions – it is nothing less than a pain in the ass. The process is like a time bomb, and you may explode at any moment. You may feel like throwing in the towel, packing your bags, and running away to get married in peace.

Yes, the focus is on the word PEACE. Peace and Happiness are the two words whose importance you realize when you are in the middle of trying to mend fences between two families: peace and Happiness. Just the sound of these words brings so much relief.

Running away might be the best idea ever. I have seen several couples scrapping the opinion of their big fat Desi weddings and running away from all the melodrama and emotional attiyachaar. I have recently grown fond of these couples as they are so much in control of their lives and their matters. They have learned the subtle art of not giving a fuck about what society is going to say. They are sensible enough to risk it all for their lives. Yes, THEIR lives.


Are you motivated to run away from all the drama happening in your life?

Do you need motivation? 

Do you need courage? 

If you answered YES to all the above, then simply keep going and reading. These pointers will help you decide to ditch that family wedding and focus on YOUR marriage instead.

1. Money Matters – You Elope, You Save!

Couples are starting to focus on running away from all the drama due to some significant reasons: finance. Planning a Desi wedding can cost you anywhere between 5 lacs to …oh there is no upper limit. Why spend so much shitload on stuff that will not be of use five years down the road? Save that money and go for a dreamy honeymoon. Save that money and start that dream business you two have been planning for so long. Invest in your future. Have a few hangouts with your closest and dearest friends and family members. And as far as appeasing the guests is concerned – spend some money and read the book titled: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.

2. Eloping is Less Time Consuming and Less Stressful

Here is the scenario. You both love each other. Your families have met. You are ready to get married, physically and mentally. But your financial status is not up to the mark set by society.

Here is what you want. You don’t want to spend the next few years of your life planning for a wedding that will cost you a fortune and will not help you in your coming life. You don’t want to wait for more years to get married. Then go and get married. Just Do It! It is simple as that. Me (25F) and my husband (26M) decided to get married on our terms and conditions after seeing our families giving less fucks about our Happiness and time. They were more concerned about other members of the family and society in general. So, we saved more than months of torture and torment by choosing to run away and get married.

3. You Get Married On Your Terms and Your Favorite Destination

“Khaane main desi khana aur meetha hona chahiye”, 

“Kapre 12 se kam nahin hone chahiye”; 

“Shaadi aur valima ka jora bhaari hona chahiye..sub ko dikhna chahiye”

These are only some of the struggles you go through when trying to get married in a Desi household. Some of the troubles. SOME.

Just stop giving a fuck about what you wear and what you don’t. You are going to get naked in a few hours anyway. For the noobs, yes, I am talking about your suhaagraat. Nobody is going to care about what you were wearing and what you were not wearing. Even if you appease your guests by giving them a feast of 35 dishes, they are going to complain about the not present 36th dish. This society is programmed to complain about everything. So stop giving fucks about them. Take your marriage as an excuse to travel to some lovely place where you wanted to go for so long. Just travel and get married. Don’t worry; technology will help you get done with your Nikaah. It is not that difficult as we make it look. If you find it troubling, here is a

Yes, it is that easy if you are willing to make it that easy.

4. No Wedding Date Troubles

One of the primary reasons I decided to go against the flow and ditch that big fat wedding party was to avoid the torture of deciding upon a date for the wedding. The families need to have everyone available. They need the perfect place for the wedding. It needs to be accessible and in range. And the list is just endless. It is a hectic mess to try and arrange a wedding party with Desi people involved; you need to appease everyone and displease yourself. Because in our part of the world, the families get married, not the couple. 

Ditch this practice and stop worrying about the flower decoration or the arrival date of your brother. If they care about you and your Happiness, they would indeed adjust. Stop ruining your life for something that will never happen and instead focus on the essential things. Focus on yourself being a couple. Forgo the wedding planning list and run away. You will thank me later!

5. You Don’t Need an Audience to Get Married

It is your marriage and your vows. You are the ones who have to live and spend your lives together. But, unfortunately, when you are in trouble, nobody from the audience will come forward and help you in any regard. The aunties and uncles will not be of any help even on the day of the wedding, and as I stated before, they are programmed to complain about everything. So ditch all this torture and just run away from the drama to get married happily and peacefully. Believe me, when I say this, the kind of times we are in and the lives we are living, the less drama, the better your life shapes up.

6. You Won’t Have To Keep a Heap of Cash for Petty Expenses

Trust me, besides the big fat expenses of clothing, rent, food, and decor, the small costs add up to a heap. You will regret getting married when you calculate the expenditure. Now, if you run away and get married, all you need to worry about is the expense you will incur on yourself and your Happiness.

We saved up a lot of money and ate all the exotic food we have always wanted to eat at some of the most exotic places. Imagine sitting near a waterfall and eating gol gappe with your husband. Well, I am glad I have been there and done that.

7. Running away is quick and Easy

It is challenging to plan a 500+ guests wedding in one year – trust me, it is complicated. It requires a lot of time and resources. You have to go through many stress, coordination issues, financial issues, an innumerable amount of stress, and unwanted fights. Now, if you choose to run away and get married, you can save up on a fortune of problems.

8. You Are Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

Remember your dream work? Your dream travel blog? Or your dream vacation that you have been putting off due to this stupid wedding? It is time to break the norm and step out of your comfort zone. If you can take the risk of running away to get married in a Desi Family, then you are a certified risk-taker. So take this elopement as your first step towards your new, risky, and adventurous life.

9. Focus on the love You Share Not the Dreaded Guest List

When my best friend was getting married, we made lists. A lot of lists. Guest lists, list of food items, list of work to be done, and list of people to send cards to and whatnot. We even made a list of the number of clothes we are going to buy. That was the time when I decided against all these norms.

I did make lists. However, my lists were much different than what we see.

I made a list of the number of food items we are going to eat together and the number of exotic places we will visit. I made a list of the necessities I will pack while traveling and the essentials I will keep when going up the hills or when diving in the waterfalls.

Instead of worrying about how the aunty uncle next door is going to backbite, or how some relatives will try hard to be the center of attraction on MY DAY, I got to focus solely on the main reason we were together: Love. And I believe that is the best reason to consider when you decide between running away and staying stuck in a pointless Desi marriage. 

Run Away!

Take my advise. I went through the hassle and pain of having a big fat desi wedding. I don’t feel contented knowing that I was not able to save the right amount of money for my coming life. Save that money and start off your dream venture. Run away to achieve your most feared travel goals. Do what most people are scared of doing. Run away to get married. You will be happy. You will have moments to cherish to yourself only!

Good luck!

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Also published on Medium.

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