6 Facebook Status Updates that Need to Stop Right Now


Ever since hopping on to Facebook, we have all read statuses that are awful. They need to stop. ASAP!

I remember posting status updates on Facebook when I joined it for the first time. But that stopped soon. Less updates and less visits started becoming a norm. And now I just simply check my Facebook with an update here and there. Usually, my profile is filled with updates from my page. However, somethings have not changed.

I still see people posting a status update when they check in to the loo just to take a selfie to post on Instagram. Because for some very strange reason, they think they look good in the bathroom selfies.

Selfies in the loo
Photo Source: Daily Digs

Anyways, as I was saying…before I got carried away in the chocolate sauce…

I am sick of people posting status updates about every teeny detail of their messed up lives. Specifically, these are the 6 Facebook status updates that need to stop right now!

1. The Pacifier


“Sigh…”, “FTW”, “Yaar..aisa mere saath hi kyun hota hai?!”

It is obvious. You want people to pacify you. You want people to ask what is going on with you. If you are lucky enough, then around 10% of your “Facebook Friends” will ask what is wrong because they do not want to die from curiosity. The rest of the 90% know it’s time for you to stop being an annoying idiot.

2. The Sickomaniacs

Photo Source: Whisper.sh

“Checked in to ER”, “Migraine is killing me”, “Lucky to be alive”

If you are sick, going to the hospital or you have been involved in an accident, then you should not make a status about it. Specially, if you are not going to be there to respond to the “Kya hua’s,”; “What happened?? Are u ok?”  and “OMG’s”. This is definitely not an appropriate way to inform your friends and family about something bad that happened to you. You just killing them with your curiosity. And add to that the fact that your cell phone is switched off.

Oh and yeah…if you are suffering from migraine and posting it on to Facebook, get yourself checked. You might be heavily mistaken! (Pun intended!)

3. The War of Words

Photo Source: Cheezburger.com

“Why talk behind my back…SAY IT TO ME ON MY FACE”, “Naani naa yaad dilaadi toh mera naam bhi ___________ (insert any funny name you want)

Really? Really??! Do you really feel the need to post it all over Facebook? It is clear you are addressing someone. Go and talk to them face to face. Stop wasting time gathering uncalled for sympathy.

4. The Unfriended

“Cleaning out the garbage from the list”, “Itne baikaar log hain facebook par add, nikaalnay main din lag gaya pura!”

I am so grateful you kept me as one of your 987 friends on Facebook so I can torture myself everyday by reading your pointless junk. *Unfriend*

5. The Routine Update

“Woke up!”, “Just Checked into the loo. Finding it hard to poop!”, “Using Colgate for morning freshness”, “Leaving the washroom after a good morning pee!”, “Going for a walk with my dog!”, “Watching the hardcore Game of Thrones on TV”, “Drinking water to keep myself hydrated”, “Time to take a shower after a good day’s hardwork”, “Too much laundry to clean”, “Laying on bed after a long and hectic day”, “I love you so much my Jaanu..my dumpling” (Yeah..we deshi’s have our own dictionary for Bae!) and so on..

You know your life is miserable. Why make others life miserable as well? Whom are you talking to actually? What is the point of all this? You know you are the only one to like your status and there is a reason for that. Stop. Please.

6. The Hashtag Abuse

Photo Source: SMWCentral

“Hanging out with friends! #friends #life #boysnightout #desiboyz #saturdaynight #enjoying #brosbeforehos #thebestihaveeverfeltinmylife #party #booze #nightout #drive #random #enjoywithfriends #letshavefun #killingtime #fun #familyfriends #enjoyinglife #lifeislikethat #lifeisfun”

#Hashtags are fun to use; only when used appropriately. What you are doing is called abuse. Violent abuse. Stop this violence and learn how to use #Hashtags.


Now you should know what I mean.

No hard feelings. We all make mistakes. I made some too. I still make them. It is okay. Nevertheless, I hope now you know how it feels to be at the other end. You still have time. Get help. REAL HELP!

Leave a Reply