Life | Zindagi

A Few Good Men

Many people asked what it means to be a good man. All I can come up with is this: Its up to every man for himself to decide what’s good for him. By law of nature, there’s no one right answer, only examples to follow. Its up to us to filter out the examples.

“It is infinitely better to have a few good men, than many indifferent ones”- George Washington

Men, as per the rules of creation, has been a dominant force. They have this inner instinct to have power and authority. If you undermine their authority, they are bound to fight back resulting in unwanted consequences.

With so much big names coming up in scandals of late, the debate “Why Do Men Cheat” got a new life. Huffington Post went on to list “Why Do Men Cheat: 26 Reasons Guys Cheat, According to Men“; with no prize on guessing, almost all of the reasons listed are related to extra marital relationship or more simply,  the lust for sex.

So, is that what its all about for every men? Sex, Sex, and only Sex? Is that the sole reason why men get into a relationship? Is that the sole reason behind the rising cases of sexual harassment, that men are not able to satisfy their lust? Is self-control, patience and positive attitude dead already? Now, taking nothing away from the women, since its “ideally” impossible to cheat on a women without the help of another women. (Ideally: I am not referring to Gay, Lesbian, Transsexuals etc) Leaving relationships aside, are men really that bad at decision making? Do they use, or rather, abuse, their powers? This is a shot at finding out whether “[amazon_textlink asin=’B00I0F7SF2′ text=’A Few Good Men’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’ikhanmaddy-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’d96c7df8-1482-11e8-a9c0-05d2f7a13cbf’]” really exist or is it just another of those societal myths.

If we look back in time, we have had men like Rumi, Ghalib, Hitler, Napoleon, Karl Marx, Einstein, Wright Brothers, Shakespeare, Caesar and a lot of other successful and celebrated men who have walked the face of this earth. We had inspirational people like Hazrat Muhammad (S.A.W.W) about whom the world says:

“If a man like Muhammad (P.B.U.H) were to assume the dictatorship of the modern world, he would succeed in solving its problems that would bring it the much needed peace and happiness.” George Bernard Shaw

“People like Pasteur and Salk are leaders in the first sense. People like Gandhi and Confucius, on one hand, and Alexander, Caesar and Hitler on the other, are leaders in the second and perhaps the third sense. Jesus (P.B.U.H) and Buddha belong in the third category alone. Perhaps the greatest leader of all times was Muhammad (P.B.U.H), who combined all three functions. To a lesser degree, Moses did the same.” Professor Jules Masserman

So, was Muhammad (P.B.U.H) the last one of the “Good Men”? What happened after he left? Here’s a very wild guess.

I have come across a number of “Mard Hazraat” (Read: Men), who think they are morally righteous and have the authority and power to do anything they want. If you don’t believe me, just come and drive a motorcycle. With them, there exists some who, I think, are trying their level best to improve their lives, inside and out, and believe in doing rather than barking. (All the Talk show hosts)

That does not mean, of course, that I am Good or have some kind of Professor X powers that allows me to know what every man on the face of the planet is experiencing. As of late, I have heard a lot of guys talk about the turning points in their lives, what made them the person they are now, but as the dust settles, all I am left with are my own personal failures, success, struggle and moments of joy and sorrow.

If you go through “[amazon_textlink asin=’1594631832′ text=’The End of Men’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’ikhanmaddy-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’36ec7f08-1483-11e8-9da3-df2c0b139d51′]” and “[amazon_textlink asin=’B01K3IU0J4′ text=’Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys’ template=’ProductLink’ store=’ikhanmaddy-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’424b6a20-1483-11e8-93c5-5ff13b198348′]”, you’ll find that according to them, men have grown incapable of adapting to the ever changing world. On the contrary, we never get any help from the celebrities around.

And then, I stumble across a Youtube Video (Yes, you morons, Youtube works the way you want it to work!), “Dear Women,” which I come to know, had made rounds around the web. (And I thought Undertaker’s retirement was the epitome of “viral” these days, Sheesh!). According to the makers of this video, their mission is simple:

“Based on the “Manifesto for Conscious Men,” a collectively written document from a number of men who feel deep appreciation for the gifts of the feminine as a balance to those of the masculine. This document acknowledges many thousands of years of dominance of masculine power, and offers an apology for the suppression of women, in the spirit of a fresh start. The authors do not advocate the domination of men by women or feminine energy, but feel that a balance and equal respect for both energies will allow for a new wave of evolution on our planet.”

Violence against women, exploitation in the global sex trade (Yes, Saudi Arabia is involved in a big way, more on that later!), discrimination at workplace and ruthless killing of innocence before birth; I stand firmly against all of these and have spoken about them before, and will continue to do so. But, in no way, am I ready to offer my apology for every crime that is committed. I am not a righteous guy, and I have made profound mistakes, some of which involve women (Ok, maybe more than I can think of). But, I have done my best to make ends meet. I have not only apologized but also worked my ass off to change who I am to ensure that I don’t make the same mistakes again. And I have got damn proofs for that.

Talking from an external point of view, I would love to blame the so called “media-freedom” for wrongly classifying guys/men as the major culprits of the century’s gone by. I have met a number of guys, who have fallen and have been able to get up and move on, because they aspires to live a better life and tag away from the name given to them by popular culture: Animals.

All the people in that video, casting or voluntary, are making the same mistake of casting all women as victims and all men as perpetrators of the crime of being born as men. Yes, there have always been, and there will continue to be, men who do terrible things, that doesn’t make all men guilty. We can’t spend the rest of our lives apologizing to each other or to the world itself. So, what we can do is to work to be the best at what we do today —and try to be a little bit better tomorrow—and we should not neglect the fact, that every person has a story of his own, a life of his own and his own chosen paths and decisions, but that doesn’t make him less good, or less of a man.

Many people asked what it means to be a good man. All I can come up with is this: It’s up to every man for himself to decide what’s good for him. By law of nature, there’s no one right answer, only examples to follow. It’s up to us to filter out the examples. My definition of a “good men” involves honesty, integrity, self-consciousness, a positive attitude towards life and faithful enough to accept his wrongdoings. Someone, who’s the same from the inside and the outside, for me, that man is among the “A Few Good MEN”.

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